I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you would pick up someone in the library
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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