i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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