hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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