Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
