Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.

Fav 37 9342 1501
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(612): View more from Minnesota

We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.

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(760): View more from California

I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.

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(714): View more from California

It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.

Fav 1 1863 959
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(973): View more from New Jersey

She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Not worth it.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.

Fav 2 141 209
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(757): View more from Virginia

don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.

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