So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
