He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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