You're a womanizer and a bitch.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
