Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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