sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize