he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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