is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
