My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
