You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
