pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
