You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
