Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize