i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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