My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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