ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
