he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
