you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
