Me. At least after what I've been through.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
