her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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