He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
