at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
