Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
