I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
