"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
