is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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