I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
