I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
