dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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