we should wear snuggies to the strip club
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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