do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize