she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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