Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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