i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
