i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
