all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
