i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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