And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
