I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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