I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
