Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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