Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize