Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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