she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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