May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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