I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
