yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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