my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
