Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
no, he came in my armpit
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We left the knife in your bed.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
