The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
