I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
