does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize