We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
