i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
