Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
