I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
