Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
