I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
