thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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