doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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